There’s a phrase I hear often — sometimes multiple times a day — that always makes me pause:
“I feel…”
It’s not that feelings aren’t valid. They absolutely are. If you’re talking about your emotional state, “I feel” is exactly the right phrase. However, when someone uses “I feel…” to express a considered opinion — based on experience, thought, skill or insight — they may be unintentionally undermining themselves.
And I don’t want that for anyone.
Why wording matters more than we think
Language shapes perception. So when a colleague says:
“I feel this is the right approach.”
“I feel the client might be expecting X.”
“I feel this process is confusing.”
…it can sound tentative — as though the thought is purely emotional, rather than reasoned or informed.
Yet very often, what they truly mean is:
“I think…” because they’ve observed something.
“I believe…” because they’ve weighed evidence.
“My view is…” because they have expertise worth hearing.
Replacing “I feel” with “I think” can subtly transform how a contribution is received. It signals clarity, confidence and thoughtful reasoning.
This isn’t pedantic — it’s empowering
Although it may seem like a small linguistic shift, it can have a meaningful impact on team dynamics. In practice, it can help:
strengthen the perceived credibility of ideas
encourage healthy debate
build trust in decision-making
invite others to engage with the thinking itself, rather than tiptoe around emotions
Importantly, it also sends a message to colleagues:
“My thoughts are worth considering — and so are yours.”
Feelings matter too — but they serve a different purpose
This isn’t an argument for abandoning emotional language altogether. Quite the opposite. Feelings are essential — especially in the arts and culture sector, where empathy and lived experience sit at the heart of the work.
However, when discussing strategy, process, decision-making or problem-solving, clarity becomes a form of kindness. Using “I think” signals that you’re offering a perspective that can be tested, debated or expanded — without invalidating you as a person.
It invites conversation, rather than closing it down.
What leaders can do to encourage clearer communication
Here are some ways leaders can help teams express their thoughts with confidence:
- Listen for “I feel…” moments When appropriate, gently ask: “Do you mean you feel this emotionally, or do you think this based on what you’ve observed?”
- Celebrate clarity, not certainty Encourage people to share early-stage thinking, even if it’s not polished.
- Model the behaviour Use “I think,” “My view is,” and “Here’s how I’m approaching this…” to signal that reasoning is welcome.
- Normalize productive disagreement If people know their ideas won’t be judged as personal attacks, they’ll be more willing to contribute.
- Thank people for their thinking Appreciation reinforces that contributions are valued.
Why this matters to us at Artifax
Every day, we work with teams making decisions about programming, resources, scheduling, customer experience and long-term strategy. Clear communication helps those decisions land more smoothly. More importantly, it helps teams collaborate with confidence and trust.
We want our clients — and our own team — to share their expertise boldly, challenge ideas constructively and express their thinking with clarity.
Because better conversations lead to better outcomes.
And sometimes the simplest shift — from “I feel” to “I think” — can open the door to exactly that.